Not the Same
by serenitykid7875
Summary: Jemma has been going through a lot. And she isn't coping as well as everyone hoped. Ward starts to work with the team again. AU story. Character death. Skimmons relationship. Biospecialist friendship. Warning: cutting Updated the story a little and add a few lines.


After everything that had happened Jemma Simmons was not the same person that she was before; Fitz had passed away a little after the team and Triplett were able to see him, they said it was due to complications. At first the only person to notice that something was wrong with Jemma was Triplett and he tried to get Jemma to talk to him, but she said she was fine and would avoid anything that had to do with Fitz; Triplett noticed that she had started to only wear long sleeves and he knew that she was hurting herself, she was barely eating, sleeping, or talking. The lab was completely silent now and Jemma only ate when the others invited her to eat with them; the others were beginning to take notice.

Triplett tried to talk to the others about Jemma and at first they said it was because she had lost Fitz; that he was a part of her and that she wouldn't ever be the same that she was before. But soon the others started to agree that something just wasn't right with Jemma; Coulson decided to talk to Jemma about it, but he didn't know how to question her. He knew that she would most likely shut him out like she did with everyone lately, so he went to the one person who always got her to talk; Grant Ward was locked in a prison cell at the fridge for bring with Hydra, but he was giving them all the information that they wanted. So he was in their good grace and Coulson had been communicating with him to get the answers as to why he joined Garrett; Ward was being very helpful and truthful which surprised Coulson, so when he decided to bring Ward aboard the bus again there were some very upset people most of all Jemma.

Jemma at first refused to talk to Ward whether it was in front of him or about him; she couldn't get over the fact that he had killed Fitz by dropping them in the ocean in a metal box. Skye, Triplett, and May all gave Coulson a hard time about Ward being on the bus again and that they didn't think he'd be any help to them in the long run, but Coulson was not persuaded to move him back to the fridge. As the weeks went by they began to change their tune about him, he was proving himself to be the Grant Ward they knew before the betrayal; the one who would protect them and did his job. Jemma however was still distant from him and would only patch him up after she was given orders from Coulson; Ward noticed immediately the change that Triplett saw and he tried to make up for his betrayal to her by letting her do any test that she wanted to do on him.

Ward knew that Jemma wouldn't forgive him right away and he was willing to do anything to get her trust back; he and Skye had started talking again, but he knew that he's feelings toward her were hormonal when he was around her it increased. He and she decided to keep it just friendly, but they would never be more than that; Skye also knew that Ward had a connection to Jemma something that he couldn't get away from and she didn't want to stand in the way of Jemma having a happy ending after everything she'd been through, but she knew that she and Jemma were going to be together a long time. Ward admitted to Skye few weeks into him being back that he had feelings for Jemma and that he was sorry for leading her on; she understood and told him that it was going to be a rough road ahead for him to gain Jemma's trust back and he understood that, but also that she was dating Jemma and wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt her.

So as he was partnered with Jemma for this mission he swore to himself that he wouldn't let anything happen to her to keep her from getting kidnapped or hurt in anyway. Coulson called a meeting to give his orders and to let them know what to expect; so everyone met around the holotable to get the objective of the mission. Skye and Triplett were next to Jemma on one side of the holotable; Coulson, Ward, and May stood on the other side.

"All right we are heading in to a small Hydra compound to retrieve several agents who had been taken. Skye you're with Triplett and Jemma you're with Ward. May and I will be look out. There should only be three hostages. Jemma you're going in just in case they need medical treatment." Coulson stated.

"Yes sir." Jemma said, but she looked worried about having to be with Ward.

"Gather your weapons or medical equipment. We leave in twenty." May said as she left to the cockpit.

"Come on Ward let's go grab our gear." Triplett said leaving Skye and Jemma near the holotable.

"All right." Ward said as he followed Triplett out.

"You okay Jemma?" Skye asked softly.

"I'm fine." Jemma replied as she turned away from Skye.

"Jem, you can trust Ward to keep you safe. We'll be in there too."

"How do you know he'll keep me safe? He tried to kill me. He killed Fitz."

"Because he's different Jemma, after everything he is a good man now. He's trying. I know you've seen the difference in him; he's trying to earn your forgiveness. He wants you to trust him again."

"I know." Jemma said then left the room quickly before Skye said another word.

Soon they were landing and heading off in different vehicles to the location where they had been informed that the compound was at. Ward and Jemma arrived first followed by May and Coulson and then Triplett and Skye.

Once everyone was in place Coulson gave the go ahead and everyone made their way in; Ward, Triplett, Skye, May, and Coulson were to get in as quickly as possible locate the agents and get them out. Jemma was to stay with Ward and never lose sight of him; Ward quickly took out the guys he came across, so that Jemma never had to fear that something would happen. Skye and Triplett got to the agents first and were helping them along when Jemma and Ward got to them; the agents were just dehydrated and Jemma treated them as they were getting them out with IVs. May and Coulson got to the group last and soon they all were heading out. At the last ten feet to the door a Hydra Agent appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Jemma; Ward told the others to go and that he'd get Jemma.

"Let her go." Ward vehemently said as he approached the agent and Jemma.

"That's not going to happen." The agent said as he held one of Jemma's arms behind her.

"Then you're going to die, because I'm not going to let anything happen to her."

"I challenge you to a fight. You win you get her."

"She is not an object to be bargained with."

"Doesn't matter. Are you in?"

"Of course."

The Hydra agent then shoved Jemma away from him and got into a fighting stance; Ward prepared himself for the fight and got in a fighting stance too. Jemma backed against the wall as Ward stepped in front of her.

"Aren't you the agent Garrett sent in to infiltrate SHIELD?" the agent said.

"Yes, but I know who the good guys are now. I won't let you hurt anymore people." Ward said as the other agent charged. Ward quickly side stepped the agent and grabbed his arm then flipped him on to his back; as the agent got up Ward was behind him and put him in a head lock.

"How can you work for those people? They are destroying everything we've worked for."

"Because they're my family and they are doing the right thing."

Ward then choked the Hydra agent till he passed out then he grabbed Jemma by the arm and led her out of the compound; the rest of the team had already left, so Ward and Jemma ran to the last vehicle left for them. On the way to the SUV gun fire erupted from the compound and Ward was struck several times before he got into the SUV, because he was shielding Jemma's body with his as she got into the back of the truck so that they could get out quickly. Ward got in the front and took off before anyone could follow; Jemma climbed into the front of the SUV once they were far enough away and began to take a look at Ward's injuries. Ward was shot in the right shoulder, thigh, and a bullet grazed his right flank; once he and Jemma arrived at the bus they quickly got out and headed up the ramp.

May got them in the air and headed for the hub where doctors were waiting for the agents that they rescued; Jemma led Ward into the lab where she started to look at his wounds. She started to roll up her sleeves when Ward noticed the cut marks on her arms; he gently, but strongly, took her wrists in his hands stopping her from helping him.

"Jemma…" Ward said with tears in his eyes as he looked at her.

"Bloody hell Ward, you weren't supposed to see those. Damn it. Let go." Jemma said cursing herself as she tried to pry her arms away from him.

"Jemma look at me."

"Please just let go."

"Look at me. Are these because of me? Did I do this to you?" Ward said still holding on her. At first Jemma didn't say anything, she just tried to get her arms out of his hands; she felt a wave of self-loathing come over her and she felt tears well up in her eyes. "Jemma, is it because of me?"

"Grant, please let go." Jemma said as a few tears fell.

"I'm not letting go. You're hurting." Ward said as he let go with one hand to wipe away her tears. "I know that I hurt you Jemma and after I talked with Coulson about my past I realized how much I've hurt all of you and how much Garrett used me. He molded me to his pleasing and I trusted him like you trusted me. I'd take it all back if I could, but I can't Jemma. I know that you loved him and he was your other half; I took him away from you and I regret it the most. I hate seeing you like this. When did you start doing this?"

"After his funeral before you came back."

"Please Jemma look at me." Jemma slowly lifted her head from staring at the ground to being face to face with Ward, she could see in his eyes how sorry he was; suddenly she broke and he pulled her into his arms and let her cry. "I'm sorry Jemma. I'm so sorry." Ward let a few tears out as he held Jemma tight. Jemma held on to Ward as her tears continued to fall, but she soon felt her shirt becoming wet and realized that Ward was still bleeding and pulled away; Ward didn't let go though and Jemma was worried.

"Grant you're bleeding let me take care of the wounds." Jemma said as she pulled away so that she was looking at Ward.

Ward finally let go and Jemma helped him take off his shirt so she could look at the shoulder and flank wounds. Jemma injected numbing medicine so she could get the bullet out and then stitch the holes; Ward sat still and watched Jemma as she worked, he felt horrible but he told himself he was going to finish the conversation and get her help.

"I'll be honest with you if you're honest with me." Ward said softly as Jemma finished stitching him up.

"Okay." Jemma said just as softly.

"When I pushed the button I thought you guys were a weakness or at least that's what Garrett called friends. I thought you'd be safe and away from Garrett. We weren't that high up and I thought it would float. I had to get you away from Garrett; he would have done worse to you if you stayed."

"Oh Grant…"

"Talk to me about what's been bothering you. It will stay between us I promise. I want to help Jemma."

"I've been so depressed since he's been gone and at first it was to get rid of the pain, but now it's to feel something…anything. I feel like such a horrible person; I watched him push the button and there was nothing that I could do. I couldn't save him."

Jemma began to sob and let out all the feelings that she had felt since Fitz's death; Ward gently pulled her into his arms and rocked her slowly as he whispered words of 'sorry and it's okay'. Coulson and May had been watching from the holotable room and both agreed that they would take it easy on the both of them because they could tell they both were in pain. Jemma continued to cry her heart out till Skye and Triplett joined them in the lab.

"What the hell did you do?" Skye said worried about Jemma.

"I…I didn't." Ward said as he stood up and wiped at his face.

"He didn't do anything Skye. We were just talking." Jemma said as she closed the distance between her and Skye; she pulled her into a hug in hope that it would calm her.

"That'd better be all you're doing Ward." Skye said a little softer.

"I promise that's all." Ward said as he limped away with Triplett following him.

"Are you okay babe?" Skye said as she continued to hold Jemma.

"Yes I'm fine. Grant was just helping me." Jemma said finally having the courage to tell her girlfriend the reason she was so depressed.

"You want to talk about it?"

"I do."

After that Skye never felt Jemma alone to long in fear that something would push her over the edge, but with the help of May, Skye was able to help Jemma through her feelings by getting her to talk with a psychologist. Jemma at first was unsure of it, but after hearing from the entire team that they only wanted what was best for her; she caved and went to talk. She learned a lot through those sessions and eventually started to trust Ward again and he never let her down again.


End file.
